أعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

In Sahih Muslim, Ibn Mas’ud (may Allah be pleased with him) reported, “The Prophet (pbuh) said that,

“He who slaps his cheeks, rips his pockets, or calls out the cries of the pre-Islamic period of ignorance is not of us.” (Bukhari)

Abu Musa Al-Ash’ari (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that,

“The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) cleared himself from the woman who loudly lament, the one who shaves or plucks out her hair when being afflicted with an adversity, and the one who rips off her clothes.” (Bukhari and Muslim)

All these types are prohibited according to the consensus of the scholars. It is also prohibited to dishevel one’s hair, slap the cheeks, scratch the face and to wail and burst into loud lamenting.

Umm ‘Attiyyah (may Allah be pleased with her) said,

“Among things upon which we gave the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) the oath of allegiance was to refrain from loud lamenting.” (Bukhari)

Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) said, “The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing be upon him) said,

“Two qualities in people are unbelief attacking another’s ancestry, and wailing over the dead.” (Muslim)

On the authority of Abu Sa’id Al-Khudri (may Allah be pleased with him) who said,

“The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) has cursed the woman who loudly wails for the dead and whoever listens to her.” (Abu Dawood)

On the authority of Abu Burda who said,

“Once Abu Musa Al-Ash’ari was sick and consequently he fell unconscious in the lap of a woman from his family. She, in turn, cried loudly and he could not stop her. When he became conscious, he said, “I cleared myself from what the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) cleared himself i.e., the woman who loudly laments, the one who shaves or plucks out her hair when being afflicted with an adversity and the one who rips her clothes.” (An Nisai)

On the authority of An-Nu’man Ibn Bashir (may Allah be pleased with him) who said,

“Once’ Abdullah Ibn Rawaha fell unconscious. Consequently, his sister started wailing over him saying, ‘O so and so.’ When he became conscious, he said, ‘You never said something, unless it was said to me are you so and so.” (Bukhari)

It is also reported in the two Sahihs that, “The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said,

“In his grave, the dead is tortured with what he was lamenting over?” (Bukhari and Muslim)

On the authority of Abu Musa (may Allah be pleased with him) who said,

“Never has a person died and his people wail upon him saying, ‘O our master, O our sustainer, or the so and so, and two angels not be entrusted with his torture saying, weren’t you so and so?”( Tirmidhi)

The Prophet (pbuh) said,

“If the woman who loudly laments the dead does not repent before the time of her death, she will be raised on the Day of Judgment wearing a garment from a tar and a coat of mail from scabies.”( Muslim)

The Prophet (pbuh) also said,

“It is forbidden for me to make two foolish sounds, the one when being granted with a blessing; amusement, playing and the flute of Satan, and the other when being afflicted with an adversity; scratching one’s face, ripping one’s pockets and crying.” (Tirmidhi)

Al-Hasan said, “Two sounds are cursed, the sound when being granted with a blessing and the sound when being afflicted with an adversity.” (Ibn Hajar Al-Haithami in Majma’ Al-Zawa’id)

The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing be upon him) also said,

“The people who loudly wail will be made into two rows in the Hell-Fire and will bark at the people of the fire as dogs do.” (Ibn Hajar Al-Haithami in Majma’ Al-Zawa’id)

Al-Awza’i said, once ‘Umar Ibn Al-Khattab heard some people weeping, consequently, he entered upon them along with others and started beating them until he reached the woman who was wailing. He also beat her to such an extent that her veil (Hijab) fell down. He commented saying, ‘Beat her! She is wailing and there is no sanctity for such people. She does not weep out of being affected with your adversity, rather she sheds tears to take your money. This only harms your dead in their graves and the ones who are still alive in their homes. She also prohibits committing to patience which is the command of Allah and encourages despair which Allah forbids.”

Loudly lamenting means to raise one’s voice with wailing and mentioning the good traits of the dead. It is also said that it means that to weep over the dead by mentioning his good traits.

The scholars said it is not allowed to raise your voice when weeping. As for weeping over the dead without wailing or loud lamenting, it is not forbidden. In Sahih of Al-Bukhari and Muslim, Ibn ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that, “The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing be upon him) visited Sa’d Ibn ‘Ubadah along with ‘Abdul-Rahman Ibn ‘Awf, Sa’d Ibn Abi Waqas and ‘Abdullah Ibn Mus’ud (may Allah be pleased with them all).

Thereupon the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) wept. Upon seeing the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) in this state, the people also wept. The Prophet said,

“Don’t you hear?! Allah does not torment the people because of the tears of the eye or the grief of the heart. Rather, He torments or bestows His mercy upon the people because of the returns of “this” and he pointed to his tongue.” (Bukhari)

In the two Sahihs, it is also reported on the authority of Usarnah Ibn Zayd that “The son of the daughter of the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) came to Messenger when he was dying. Thereupon, the eyes of the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) were soaked with tears. Sa’d said, “O Messenger of Allah what is this?’ The Prophet said, “This is a mercy which is created by Allah within the hearts of His servants and Allah will only shower His mercy upon the merciful ones (amongst His servants)” (Bukhari)

In Sahih Al-Bukhari, it is reported on the authority of Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) that,

“The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) entered upon his son, Ibrahim, while he was dying. Thereupon the eyes of the Prophet (pbuh) started to shed tears. ‘Abdul-Rahman Ibn ‘Awf said to him, ‘You too, O Messenger of Allah!’ The Prophet commented, ‘O Ibn Awf, it is a mercy’ and repeated it twice and said, ‘The eyes shed tears, the heart is grieved, but we do not say anything except what pleases Allah and for your death we are very sad, O Ibrahim.”( Bukhari)

As for the Sahih hadith which states,

“The dead will be tortured with the weeping of his family over him.” (Bukhari)

It is not to be taken literally, it is interpreted differently by various scholars. The most evident meaning is, but Allah knows best, that the weeping may be for some other reasons such as the deceased person may have advised his family to do so prior to his death.

The followers of Shafi’i said, “The weeping over the dead is allowed before and after his death. But it is preferable for it to be done before the death according to the hadith which states, “Let them (weep), but when his soul is really taken, do not allow anyone (to weep).” Shafi’i and his followers stated that weeping after the death is only reprehensible but it is not forbidden. They interpreted the previous hadith as follows, “It is reprehensible to let them weep (after the death).”

The woman who loudly laments the dead will be tormented in such way because she, in so doing, orders the people to be despondent and impatient and this is in contradiction to what Allah and his Messenger has ordered. Allah the Almighty has said,

{O ye who believe! Seek help with patient perseverance and prayer: for God is with those who patiently persevere and say not of those who are slain in the way of Allah: “They are dead” Nay, they are living, though ye perceive (it) not. Be sure We shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in good, lives and the fruits (of your toil), but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere, who say, when afflicted with calamity: To Allah we belong, and to Him is Our return.} (Al-Baqarah: 153-156)

‘Ata’ reported Ibn’ Abbas to have said, “This means that Allah will support such people and will never disappoint them. Allah the Almighty said, {Be sure we shall test you.} i.e., Allah will treat such kind of people the same way He treated the afflicted people. That is because Allah knows the returns and consequences of all things and He is in no need for the afflicted to know the result but He just deals with them in such way.

So, whoever is patient, he will be rewarded for his patience and whoever is impatient, will be deprived of such reward then Allah said,{ with something of fear and hunger.} Ibn ‘Abbas said, {fear}means fear from the enemy and hunger means famine and drought.

Some loss in goods p, means loss and decrease in property and death of animals. {Lives} means loss of lives through death, killing, disease and old age. {And the fruit} means decrease in needs of people and the fruits will be imperfect. Then Allah the Almighty ended the Ayah with giving good news to those who are patient to indicate that whoever was afflicted with these calamities and was patient, he is promised by Allah to be rewarded, Allah the Almighty said, “But give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere.” Then Allah described them saying, {who say when afflicted with calamity.} i.e., they were afflicted with what previously mentioned. To be afflicted with good thing is not affliction. { They say, to Allah we belong.} i.e., we are the servants of Allah and He can dispose with us with whatever He will. {And to Him is our return.} This will be through death. The return to Allah means that He will be the only Sovereign. That is because some people govern in this world, but as soon as they are deprived of it, they know the whole matter will be in the Hands of Allah, the Almighty.

On the authority of ‘Aishah (may Allah be pleased with her) who said, “The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said,

“Whatever the calamity a believer is afflicted with, he will be compensated for it, even the sting of the thorn.” (Bukhari)

The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said,

“Whoever is afflicted with a calamity, let him remember the calamity of my death for it is the greatest of all.” (Darimi)

The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said,

“The son of a person died and Allah the Almighty said to the angels, ‘Did you take the soul of the son of my servant.’They will reply, ‘Yes.’ Allah will say, ‘Did you take the fruit of his heart.’ They will reply, ‘yes.’ Allah will say, ‘What did my servant say.’ They will say, ‘He praised You and sought the reward from You.’ Allah will say ‘Build a house for my servant in Paradise and call it the house of praise.” (Tirmidhi)

The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) also said,

“The Almighty Allah said in a hadith Qudsi, “The reward of my believing servant, if I take the soul of his bosom friend in this world and he was patient and sought the reward from Me, will be nothing except Paradise.” (Bukhari)

The Prophet (pbuh) also said,

“Among those things which bring happiness to the son of Adam is to be satisfied with what Allah has destined for him,’ and among things which bring him wretchedness is to be dissatisfied with Allah’s blessing.” (Tirmidhi)

On the authority of ‘Umar Ibn Al-Khattab who said, “When the angel of death (peace be upon him) takes the soul of the believers, he will stand at the door of his house. There will be among his family the one who slaps her face, the one who dispersed her hair and the one who wails and bursts in loud lamenting. Thereupon the angel of death will say, “For what you display your anxiety and fear? By Allah, I did not decrease the span of life of anyone of you, nor decrease the provision of anyone of you, nor did I oppress anyone of you. So, if you complain and anxiety was upon me be sure that, I only was ordered to do so. And if they were upon your dead, by Allah he has nothing to do but to surrender. And if they were upon your Lord, by Allah you disbelieved in him. Surely I will return to you many times until I took you all.

The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) commented,

“By whom in whose hands my soul is, if they saw his place and heard his words, they would be surprised and would weep upon themselves.”

Consolation

On the authority of’ Abdullah Ibn Mas’ud (may Allah be pleased with him) that he said, “The Prophet (pbuh) said,

“Whoever offers the consolation to the afflicted person, he will be rewarded with the same.” (Tirmidhi)

On the authority of Abu Barzah (may Allah be pleased with him) who said, “The Prophet (pbuh) said to Fatimah (may Allah be pleased with her),

“Whoever offers consolation to the person who is bereaved of his/her child, he will be clothed with Burd (certain kind of garment) in Paradise.” (Tirmidhi)

On the authority of ‘Abdullah Ibn Amr Ibn Al-As (may Allah be pleased with both of them) who said, “The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said to his daughter Fatimah (may Allah be pleased with her),

“For what reason did you go out from your house. O Fatimah?” she said, “I went to the people of this house and asked Allah to shower his mercy upon their dead and I offered them consolation.” (Abu Dawud)

On the authority of Amr Ibn Hizam who said, “The Prophet (pbuh) said,

“Never does a believer offer his afflicted brother consolation and Allah cloth him out of his Honour on the Day of Judgment.”( Ibn Majah)

Consolation means that to bring patience and mention to the deceased’s kin what can relieve their sadness and lighten their calamity. It is recommended that it includes commanding the good and forbidding the evil. It also comes under the saying of Allah,

{Help ye one another in righteousness and piety but help ye not one another in sin and rancor! } (Al-Maidah, 2)

This is the most indicative verse concerning the matter of consolation.

Consolation is preferable before and after burying the dead. The followers of Ash-Shafi’i said, its time starts from the time when the soul is taken and lasts for three days after burying the dead. Some scholars said, consolation is not preferable after three days of dying, for consolation appeases the heart of the afflicted person and this mostly takes place within three days and therefore there is no need to renew his sadness. This same position was held by the majority of the scholars. Abu Al-Abbass said, there is no wrong to offer consolation after three days since the event lasts forever. An-Nawawi (may Allah bestow mercy upon him) said, “What is agreed upon is that it should not be offered after three days except in two cases: when the one who offers the consolation is absent or the afflicted person was absent as well. And they are expected to return after three days. Offering consolation after burying the dead is better than doing it before burying, for before burying, the people of the dead are engaged with preparing him and alienation is intensified after burying. This may be done if no anxiety appeared on the part of the people of the dead.

Otherwise, consolation should be offered to bring quietness to them. It is also reprehensible to gather in a particular place to receive the consolation. This means that the people of the dead should not gather in a certain place and the people go to offer them consolation. The formula of consolation is well known. The best of what can be said in this respect is what is reported in the two Sahihs on the authority of Usamah Ibn Zayed (may Allah be pleased with him) who said that, “One of the daughters of the Prophet (pbuh) sent to him and told him that one of her children is dying. The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said to the man, “Return to her and tell her that, to Allah is what He has taken and to him is what He has given and to everything is an appointed term with Allah. So, order her to be patient and seek the reward from Allah.” (Reported before)

An-Nawawi (may Allah bestow mercy upon him) said that, “This hadith is one of the most comprehensive rules of Islam which includes many religious matters, whether they are principles, subsidiary matters, good manners, patience towards all kinds of calamities, worries and discusses many other things.

“To Allah is what He has taken.” means that the whole world is His. Therefore, He does not take what is yours but what is His as a trust to you.” To him is what he has given” means that what he has granted you with is not out of His Sovereignty but it is His and He disposes it as He wills. “To everything there is an appointed term with Allah” means that you should not be anxious for the one whose soul was taken by him, completed his span in this life and it is impossible to delay or precede his appointed time. Upon being sure of all this, you should be patient with what has afflicted you.

On the authority of Mu’awiyyah Ibn Iyas from his father (may Allah be pleased with him) who said once the Prophet (pbuh) did not see one of his Companions and he asked about him. The Companions replied,

“O Messenger of Allah, his son who you have seen has died. Thereafter, the Prophet (pbuh) met him and asked him about his son and he told him that he died. The Prophet consoled him then said, “Which of them is most beloved to you, to enjoy this worldly life with your son or to come tomorrow and find that your son preceded you to open whichever of the doors of Paradise you want. The man replied, “O the Prophet of Allah, of course to advance me to Paradise and find it open for me is most beloved. The Prophet said, this is granted to you. The companions asked, “is it exclusive for him or is it general for all Muslims? The Prophet replied, “For all Muslims.” (An-Nasa’i)

On the authority of Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) who said,

“The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) went out to Al-Baqr and he saw a woman wailing on a grave. He said to her, “O the servant of Allah, fear Allah and be patient”. She replied, “O the servant of Allah, if you were afflicted with what I have been, you would excuse me!” The Prophet said to her, “O servant of Allah, fear Allah and be patient.” She replied, “0 the servant of Allah, I heard what you said, so let me alone. Abu Hurairah said, “The Prophet let her alone and there was a man who witnessed this scene and came to this woman and asked her what did this man (the Prophet) say to her? She told him what he said and with what she replied him. The man asked her did you know him? She replied, “No, By Allah.” He said, “Woe to you! He is the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him). Thereupon, she quickly walked towards him until she reached him and said, “O Messenger of Allah, I will be patient”. The Prophet said, “Patience is at the time of the suddenness of the calamity.” (Bukhari)

This means that the patience is more virtuous at the suddenness of the calamity, but after that, solace, of course, takes place.

In Sahih Muslim, it is reported that,

“Once one of Abu Talha’s sons died. His wife, Umm Salim said to his family, don’t tell Abu Talha and I will tell him myself upon returning of Abu Talha, she offered the dinner for him and he ate and drank. Then she made up herself more than she did for him before that and Abu Talha had sexual intercourse with her. Upon realizing that he satisfied himself from her, she said, O Abu Talha, what do you say about some people who lent something to others, then they demanded their right, do other people have the right to deny them this thing? He replied, “No”. Umm Salim said, “Deem your son as a trust which returned to Allah. Abu Talha got angry and said, do you leave me until I stain myself with you then you told me about my son. This, by Allah will never cause me to be patient. Then he went to the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) and told him about what had happened. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him said, “May Allah bless your night for you both.” (Bukhari)

In another narration, it is reported that,

“With the best and all-embracing good, no one is granted something better than patience.” (Bukhari)

Ali Ibn Abi Talib (may Allah be pleased with him) said to Al-Ashas Ibn Qays, “Be committed to patience and count your dead as a trust which returned to Allah’s keeping, otherwise you are behaving the way the animals do.”

A wise man wrote to an afflicted man saying, “You lost what you have been afflicted with, so do not let its compensation i.e., the reward, miss you also.” Another man said, “The sane person does on the first day of his calamity what the foolish person does on the fifth day of his calamity.”

It is well-known that the passing of time consoles and relieves the afflicted person. Therefore the lawgiver ordered the people to be patient on the suddenness of calamity. Once Ash-Shafi’i (may Allah be pleased with him) was told that Abdul-Rahman Ibn Mahdi lost one of his sons and he was very anxious and distressed because of his death. Thereupon, Ash-Shafi’i sent him a message saying, “O my brother console yourself with what you console others with and detest from yourself what you detest from other’s doings. Be sure that the most grievous calamity is the one which deprives the person the delight and the reward, so what do you say about the combination of these two thing and the doing of a sin? So hasten to your destiny while it is near to you before demanding it while it goes far from you. May Allah grant you patience at times of calamity and reward you and us for it.”

A man wrote to some of his brothers to console him because of the death of his son saying” “As long as the son is living, he is a source of sadness and trial for his father, but when he dies he becomes a prayer and a mercy for his father. Therefore, don’t be sad for what you missed, you missed his sadness and trial and do not lose the prayer and mercy which Allah offers you.

Musa Ibn Al-Mahhdi consoled Ibrahim Ibn Salamah on the death of his son saying, “Was not he a source of happiness although he was a calamity and a trial but when he died, he became a source of sadness then he became a prayer and mercy?

A man consoled another saying, “the one who will be a reward for you in the hereafter is better than the one who was a source of your delight and happiness in the worldly life.” It is also reported that Abdullah Ibn ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) buried one of his sons and laughed at the grave. He was asked do you laugh while you are still standing at the grave? He replied, I was to overcome by Satan. Ibn Jarih (may Allah be pleased with him) said, “Whoever is not be patient at the time of calamity and deem his dead as a trust which is in Allah’s keeping, he will behave the way the animals do.”

Hamid Al-Araj said, “I saw Sa’id Ibn Jubair saying to his son and looking at him, I know a particular characteristic of you. He was asked what is it? He replied, “He will die and I will deem him as a trust which is returned to Allah’s keeping.

Al-Hasan Al-Basri (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that,

“A man was very sad because of the death of his son and he complained this to him. Al-Hasan said, “Was your son absent from you before his death? The man replied, “Yes, his absence was more than his attendance. Al-Hasan said,”So deem his absence forever but this time will be the most rewarding for you. The man said, O Abu Sa’id, You appeased my anxiety about my son.

Once ‘Umar Ibn ‘Abdul-’ Aziz entered upon his son while he was ill and said, “O my son, how are you?” He replied, “I found myself in the truth.” ‘Umar said, O my son, to be in my scale! It is more beloved for me to be in your scale (‘Umar mean that his sins are more than his son’s.” The son replied, “O my father, to be granted what you love is more beloved to me than to be granted what I love.”

Once, ‘Urwah was attacked by disease in his leg and he was obliged to cut it off and he cut it off himself despite he was an old man. He did not leave out his oft-frequently remembrance which he used to do on this night, but he recited Allah’s saying,

{Bring as our early meal, truly we have suffered much fatigue at this (stage of) our journey} (Al-Kahf: 62)

He (may Allah be pleased with him) also said, “O Allah! If You afflicted me, you truly relieved me and if you took something, truly you saved me many others. You took one organ and saved for me many others and you took a son and saved me many others. On the same night a man from Banu Abs entered upon Al- Walid Ibn Abd ul-Malik. Al-Walid asked him about his eye. The man said, “I spent one night in the peak of a valley and I didn’t know anyone from Bany Abd who may be more rich than me. Then we were afflicted with a torrent. Consequently, all my property, family and children were destroyed with exception of a camel and a son. The camel was very reluctant and it ran away and I started to follow it. I did not leave my son except for a short distance and I heard his crying. I returned to him and I found his head under its belly and it killed him. Then I followed the camel to catch it, but it kicked me with its foot and it disfigured my face and blinded my eye. Then I became deprived of my family, my property, my son and my camel.”

Thereupon, Al-Walid said, “Take this man and bring him before ‘Urwah so he knows that there are many others who are more afflicted than him.”

It is also reported that, when ‘Uhman (may Allah be pleased with him) was attacked and beaten, he said while blood was flowing upon his beard, “There is no God but Allah, Glory be to you. Truly I was one of those who wronged themselves. O Allah! I seek Your help against them and I seek Your help in all my affairs. O Allah! I ask You to grant me patience on what You afflicted me with.

Al-Mada’ni said, “I saw in the desert a very beautiful woman and I said, “By Allah, this woman is surely a very prosperous and rich. She said, “By Allah, this is not true, I suffered many distresses and worries and I will tell you my story. I was married to a man and we had two children. On the day of ‘Eid ul- Adha (Feast of Sacrifice), their father slaughtered a sheep and they were playing. The elder son said to his younger brother, do you want me to show you how my father slaughtered the sheep? The younger son said, ‘Yes’. Then the elder son slaughtered his brother and when he saw his brother bleeding he was very scared and ran away towards the mountain and a wolf devoured him. His father followed him to bring him back, but he lost his way in the desert and he died from hunger and I became lonely. Al-Mada’ni asked her, “How are you with patience?” She said, “If it accompanies me, I will abide by it, but it was a wound and I recovered.”

On the authority of Ibn Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) who said,

“I heard the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) saying, “Whoever has two sons and they died in his lifetime, he will enter Paradise. Aishah asked, “May my father and mother be a compensation for you! What about the one who has one son?” The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing be upon him) said, “He will have the same reward” ‘Aishah proceeded, “What about the one who has none of your Ummah?’ He said, “I am the forerunner of my Ummah and they were not afflicted with a more grievous calamity than mine (death).” (Tirmidhi)

One the authority of Abu Ubaidah (may Allah be pleased with him) from his father who said, “The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said,

“Whoever has three sons and they died in his lifetime before attaining the age of puberty, they will be a protection for him from the Hell-Fire.” Abu AI-Darda, and in another narration Abu Dharr, said, “I introduced two sons. The Prophet said, “They will bring you the same reward. Ubai Ibn Ka’b, the muster of the readers of the Glorious Qur’an said, “I introduced one. The Prophet (pbuh) said, “He will bring you the same reward, but this is at the time of the suddenness of the calamity.” (Tirmidhi)

On the authority of Waki’ who said,”There was a son for Ibrahim AI-Harbi and he was eleven years when he memorized the Glorious Qur’an and was knowledgeable in Fiqh and Hadith. He died and I went to console his father. He said to me,” I was longing for his death.” I said, O Abu Ishaq, how could you say something like that while you enjoy such a status among the scholars? Your son was grown up, memorized the Qur’an and was knowledgeable in Fiqh and Hadith. He said, I saw in a dream as if we it was the Day of Judgment and there were many children who are carrying cups of water and met the people to give them water. The Day was very hot and I said to one of them, give me some water. He looked at me and said you are my father. I said who are you? He said, we are the children who died in the religion of Islam and we foreran our fathers to give them the water to drink. For this reason I hoped for his death.”

Muslim reported on the authority of Abu Hasan who said that, “I said to Abu Hurairah talk with us about something that may relieve us from our sadness concerning our dead.” He said, they are the boys of Paradise and they meet their fathers or their parents and catch their clothes or hands and don’t leave them until they enter Paradise.” (Muslim)

Malik Ibn Dinar (may Allah be pleased with him) said, ” At the beginning of my life I indulged in every type of amusement and wine drinking. I bought a slave girl and I had a sexual intercourse with her and she gave birth to a girl. I loved the girl in the true sense of the word. She grew up and started to walk. Whenever I wanted to drink she came and poured it before my hands. When she was two years old she died and I was very distressed and sad because of her death. Then when it was the fourteenth night of Sha’ban I slept and I was very intoxicated. I saw in my dream as if we are on the Day of Judgment and I was raised from my grave. Then there was a dragon following me and wanted to eat me. I fled from it but it did not leave me alone. The more I ran fast, the more it hurried and I was very fearful. On my way I passed by an old man with a clean and pure clothes and feeble body. I said, I entreat you to protect me from this tannin which want to eat and destroy me. He said to me, O my son I an a very old man and I am not able to face this tannin. But pass and hurry and may Allah protect you against it. I ran away and it followed me. I was very near to the layers of the fire while they were boiling and I was about to fall into them. I heard someone saying; rescue this wretched person before his enemy reaches him. Thereupon the gates were open and curtains were pulled up and there were children, with faces like the moon, looking at me. My daughter was amongst them and when she saw me she went down to a scale of light and beat it with her its right hand and consequently the tannin ran away. She sat in my lap and said, O my father, {has not the time arrived for the believers that their hearts in all humility should engage in the remembrance of Allah and of the truth which has been revealed ( to them)} (Al-Haddid: 16)

I said to her, “O my daughter do you know the Glorious Qur’an? She replied, “We know it more than you, I said, “O my daughter, what do you do here? We are the Muslim children who died and were placed here until the Day of Judgment awaiting you.” I asked her, “O my daughter what is this dragon who wants to destroy me? She said, “O my father, this is your odious deeds you strengthened it until it wants to destroy you. I asked her who is this feeble man? She said, “This is your good deeds you weakened it until it was unable to face your odious deeds. So repent to Allah and be not among those who are destroyed.” Then I rose from my sleep and I repented to Allah from this time. Therefore, contemplate (may Allah have mercy towards you) the blessing of the death of children, whether male or female, while they are younger. Their parents will have the reward of them if they are patient and seek the compensation from Allah and say, praise be to Allah, to Allah we belong and to him is our return. They, in return, have what Allah has promised them, {Who say, when afflicted with calamity: to Allah we belong.} (Al-Baqarah: 156) i.e. we and our property is for Allah and He has the right to dispose with it as He wills. And to Him is our return.” this is an admission that everything will be destroyed and everything will return to Allah.

On the authority of Thawban (may Allah be pleased with him) who said, “The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said,

“Never is a person afflicted with calamity unless it is due to two things, either because of a sin which will not be forgiven except by this calamity or because of a certain status which he will never attain except through this calamity.” (Mundhiri_

Sa’id Ibn Jubair said,

“This nation was given something at time of calamity which the Prophets preceding it were deprived of i.e., {To Allah we belong and to Him is our return.” He proceeded to say, “If the Prophets were granted with it, it would be given to Jacob (pbuh) who said, “How great is my grief for Yusuf} (Yusuf: 84)

On the authority of Umm Salamah (may Allah be pleased with her) who said, I heard the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) saying,

“Never is a person afflicted with a calamity and say, “To Allah we belong and to him is our return. O Allah! Reward me in my calamity and compensate me with something better than it, and Allah not reward him and compensate him with something better than it.” Umm Salamah said, when Abu Salamah died, I said, who is better than Abu Salamah then I said it and Allah compensated me with the Messenger of Allah (pbuh).” (Muslim)

On the authority of Al-Shu’bi who said, Shuraih said, when I have been afflicted with a calamity. I thank Allah four times, I thank Him that He did not afflict me with something more grievous than it, I thank Him for granting me patience for it. I thank Him that he helped me to review what I hope of reward and I thank Him that he did not make it in my religion. Allah the Almighty said,

{They are those on whom (descended) blessings from their Lord, and mercy, and they are the ones that receive guidance.} (Al-Baqarah: 157)

Here blessings mean mercy and forgiveness. {They are the ones that receive guidance} means, they are the ones who are guided to review their works and deeds. It is also said that they are the ones who are guided to Paradise and rewards.

One the authority of Sa’id Ibn Al-Musayyab from ‘Umar Ibn Al Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) who said in his comment on, {They are the ones on whom (descended blessings from their Lord, and mercy}, how blessed they are. He said also, {they are the ones that receive guidance.} how blessed is this promotion. (Hakim)

As for the person who is afflicted with a calamity and he displayed his dissatisfaction through wailing and bursting in loud lamenting, slapping one’s cheeks, ripping one’s pockets, dishevelling, shaving, cutting off, or plucking out one’s hair. He will invoke Allah’s wrath and curse upon himself whether he is a man or a woman.

It is also reported that beating over one’s thighs at the time of calamity deprives the person the reward.

It is also reported that,

“Whoever is afflicted with a calamity and he tears his clothes, slaps his face, rips his pockets or plucks out his hair, he resembles the one who takes his arrow and wants to fight Allah.”

It is previously mentioned that Allah does not torture the people because of the tears of the eyes or the grief of the heart. Rather He tortures them for the returns of their tongues and what they say at the time of affliction of loud lamenting and crying. It is also previously mentioned that the dead is tortured with what he was lamented with. So, if the woman laments and says O my sustainer, O my helper, or the one who clothes me, the person will be tortured and it will be said to him, are you her sustainer, are you her helper, are you the one who clothes her? Therefore, loud lamenting is not allowed for it enraged the grief and encourages impatience. It “also goes against the satisfaction with Allah’s destiny and submitting to Allah’s orders.

Salih Al-Mari said, once one Thursday evening I was among the graves and sleep overcome me. I saw in my dream as if the graves were cracked and the dead were raised and sat in many sessions (circles) and upon them there were covered plates descended. There was amongst them a young man who was tormented with all types of torture. I went to him and asked, O young man, why are you tortured from amongst these people? He said to me, O Salih, I entreat you to transfer what I will say to you and pay the trust arid be merciful to rescue me from my grief, may Allah the Almighty make you the one who will bring me salvation. When I died and my mother gathered many women and lamented and wailed over me every day. I was tormented with their wailing and the fire surrounded me from all directions because of what they said. May Allah not reward her with any good because of me. Then he started weeping until I wept due to his state. He then said O Salih go to my mother, and he told me about her place, and say to her, why do you torment your son? She brought me up and protected me against misfortunes and when I died she threw me into the torture. O my mother, if you saw my state, the chains in my neck, the cuffs in my feet, and the angels of torture beating me, you will be merciful towards me. If you do not give up what you say of wailing and lamenting, Allah will judge between you and me on the Day of Judgment. Salih said, I woke up in fear and stayed in my place until the time of dawn. In the morning, I went to this village and I had no concern except to reach the house of the mother of this young man. I asked about her and I reached her. The door of her house was blackened and the sound of lamenting and wailing was heard from outside of the house. I knocked the door and there came an old woman and said what do you want? I said, I want the mother of the youth who died. She asked what do you want from her? She is engaged with her grief. I said to her summon her for I have a message for her from her son. She entered and told her. The mother came out wearing black clothes and her face was black out of oft wailing and weeping. She asked me who I was? I said, I am Salih Al Mari. Yesterday I was at the graves and so and so have happened to me with your son.

I saw him tortured and saying, O my mother, you brought me up and protected me against misfortunes and when I died you threw me into the torture. If you do not give up what you say of wailing and lamenting, Allah will judge between you and me on the Day of Judgment. Upon hearing that, she fell unconscious.

When she restored her state, she grievously wept and said O my son it is so cherished to me and if I knew, I would never do it and I repent to Allah from my doing. Then she entered her house, changed her clothes and gave me a suite filled with Dirhams and said, O Salih, give these Dirhams in charity on behalf of my son. Salih said goodbye to her, supplicated to Allah for her, went away and gave the dirhams in charity. On the night of the next Thursday, I went to the graves as I used to do and I slept. I saw in my dream that the people in the cemetery rose from their graves and sat in circles and upon them the plates were descended.

The young man was very happy and delightful amongst them and to him there came a plate and he took it. When he saw me, he advanced towards me and said, O Salih, may Allah reward you in the best way for me, Allah the Almighty relieved me from the torture because my mother gave up wailing and lamenting. The reward of charity also reached me. Sahih said, what are these plates? These are the presents of the living people to their dead, from charity, recitation of the Qur’an and supplication. They descended upon them every night of thus. It is said this is the present of so and so to you. So, return to my mother and send peace upon her and say to her may Allah reward you in the best way for me. I received the reward of your charity on behalf of me and you will join us soon, so prepare yourself. Salih said, “I awake and come to the house of the mother of this youth after some days. I found a bier at its door. I asked for whom this bier is placed?

They replied, for the mother of the youth. I offered prayer upon her and she was buried beside her son in this grave. I supplicated Allah for them and went away.

We ask Allah to cause us to die while we are Muslims and join us to the righteous people and protect us from the Fire, for He is Ever-Generous, Ever Relenting and Ever-Merciful

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