The Consequence of Bad Behavior

أعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Islam is the complete way of life

O honorable brothers and sisters! Allah ﷻ addresses the people of Islam, Yaa ayyuhalladheena aamanudkhulu fissilmi kaaffaah. O you who have believed, enter into Islam completely. Al Quran: 2:208. When Islam was in its entirety in the whole of the society, understanding Islam in its perfect sense remained easy. When a person was called towards Islam, he was given a clear picture like how he should be as a Muslim and so to understand Islam completely was easy. When Islam gets removed from the life then it gets difficult to understand it completely and each will have his own mental picture of Islam. One will say this is the complete Islam and the other will say this is the complete Islam because there is no complete Islam in the lives of people. When Islam gets into action, it gets easy for a person to explain Islam. Today one remains content with Islam when he is just a Muslim by birth. He remains content and satisfied when he doesn’t even know the proper meaning of Kalmah. Even though one doesn’t have a complete picture of Islam, he is still satisfied just with his Muslim name. How many are content enough when there are some Islamic rituals during their birth and death? How many are there whose names are registered among the Muslims but when it comes to their practical life, there is open shirk (associating partners with Allah ﷻ) but they are content that they are Muslims? How many are there whose entire image is non-Islamic but are content to be Muslims in the census? How many are there whose looks are not like Muslims in any sense but are content that they read Laa ilaaha illallaahu Muhammadur Rasoolullah?

O honorable ones! The picture of Islam becomes prey to many misunderstandings when Islam is not seen in the practical life. Some understand that it is enough to have the correct aqeedah (belief) and as far as the rest of the things, they think they will enter Jannah after getting purified in Jahannam. Some progress further and give importance to both aqeedah and ibaadat (worship) but when it comes to business dealings, they do not bother about haram or halal income because as far as them, their mental picture of Islam is all to have the correct aqeedah and ibaadat. This is why a person of this kind feels hesitation when it comes to break his fast but doesn’t have any such feeling of hesitation when he is to get interest money. This is because as far as this poor person is concerned, his understanding of Islam is only to do with aqeedah and ibaadat. When the son of such parents breaks his fast, they feel very sad about his act expressing shock that what is he doing but if the same son establishes a factory with interest money they become very happy that their son has become an industrialist because this is the extent of their understanding of Islam restricted only to aqeedah and ibaadat. They do not have any concern with regards to haram or halal and if the market dealings are correct or wrong. That is why if his sehri (pre-dawn meal during fasting) gets delayed, he will ask if his fasting is valid or not but if he earned money through lies, he won’t ask if the money is halal or haram for him. If he breaks the fast couple of minutes before the breaking time, he will ask if his fast is valid or not but if he usurps someone’s money, he won’t ask if it is lawful for him to consume that money and if he can take care of his children’s needs with that money. This is again because of his limited understanding of Islam which he thinks is only to do with correct aqeedah and ibaadat. He does not realize that his business or office life also comes under Islam.

The consequence of our limited understanding of Islam

If a person is supposed to do official work for 8 hrs and he spends 2 hrs of his official time for his personal life while he gets salary for the complete 8 hrs, then the money he is receiving for the 2 hrs of his personal work is as haram as he would get money by robbery or theft. But as this person doesn’t have any idea that Islam also lies in office, employment and inside the market, he thinks himself to be very clever in getting the salary at the end of the month just by signing in the register book. There is only the sign of his presence in the book but not his absence. He is eating haram just like one is earning through robbery or theft but why doesn’t he realize this? This is because his understanding of Islam is very limited to Masjid or that Islam is only about the correct aqeedah and that is why he does business dealing as he likes and as he desires. Now when a person progresses little further, he cares not just about his aqeedah and ibaadat but also has concern for the halal and haram income but he doesn’t know that akhlaaq (etiquettes) and manners also come under Islam. Then one is being filled with takabbur (pride) and his life is based on pride. He wants people to praise him all the time. He takes care of aqeedah, he doesn’t miss a salah, he shows enough concern when it comes to business dealings but his manners remain the same as he thinks this is not related to Islam in any way. He has hasad (jealousy), niggardliness, fire of anger, takabbur, a strong desire for fame and he is a person of show off but he doesn’t bother about his islaah (reformation) because Islam is very limited in his understanding. He doesn’t even consider this to be a sin when our beloved Prophet ﷺ said that the one who has an atom of kibr (pride) in his heart will not enter jannah. When etiquettes and manners is very part of Islam, he has expelled this from Islam. If one takes care of even this like he cares about his aqeedah, ibaadat, business dealings and his etiquettes and manners also become islami, there is a fifth aspect which seems like everyone has left out, even the most eminent religious personalities. And this is husn-e-muaasharat (good social conduct), our behavior with each other like how do I treat others. This is the complete Islam: Yaa ayyuhalladheena aamanudkhulu fissilmi kaaffaah. O you who have believed, enter into Islam completely. (Al Quran: 2:208)

The five aspects that will make our Islam complete

The complete Islam is that you have correct aqeedah, ibaadat, business dealings, etiquettes and manners and husn-e-muaasharat, the way we behave with each other. The behavior in which there is harassment and torture for others is unIslamic. See causing financial loss to someone is evil but causing pain to someone’s heart is more evil. Being bad in business dealing is worst but being bad in behavior is worse than this because by wrong business dealings, you cause financial loss but by bad behavior you cause pain to the heart. Now one’s aqeedah is proper, he has ibaadat, there is fikr (concern) for haram and halal, has good etiquettes and manners but the behavior is not good because of which the unity, bond and mutual love has come to an end. The bad social conduct is the base for the hatred. That is why the whole family can be religious performing salah, doing hajj but still their hearts are broken which means the Islam is not complete and the way they think about Islam to be complete is not right but they remain content. They are doing the work of deen together but there is hatred among them because they do not have good social conduct. Their treatment of each other is not good. Oh honorable ones the thing that you removed from Islam is husn-e-muaasharat. Today Muslims do not have concern for good conduct that this is also Islam, the result of which there is only hatred and hatred everywhere. People are facing difficulties from others from every single direction. The social life is going on with much difficulty today. The family life is getting difficult.

The sifli amal of breaking the hearts

Unfortunately in spite of having strong contact with deen performing salah and offering hajj and having firm aqeedah, people are still deprived of blessings of Islam because their social life is unIslamic. This is a sifli amal (sifli amal is normally referred to the occult influence supposedly sought through evil spirits, one of the worst forms of black magic) of breaking the family with the bad behavior. The hearts will definitely break because of this sifli amal. People say someone did sifli amal on them but oh dears this is the sifli amal. When your social conduct is unIslamic and your behavior is torturous, then definitely there will be the consequence of breaking the hearts and the unity will break. There won’t be any love. Where the hearts break, Allah ﷻ closes the door of barakah and where the hearts break, the barakah of deeni work gets ended. There remains no barakah and that is why our beloved Prophet ﷺ highly instructed about good behavior.  Hazrat Jabir  said that once the Prophet ﷺ saw him eating dates with someone. The other person was having one date while he  was taking two dates at a time. Seeing this, the Prophet ﷺ said, “No, no, this is not a good behavior. Until he permits you, do not take two dates when he was taking only one.” He ﷺ also instructed not to come to the gathering eating raw onion or garlic so the bad odor doesn’t trouble the people. How much importance the Prophet ﷺ gave for the good social conduct! Our beloved Prophet ﷺ said, “If there is some problem in your body because of which the bad odor might spread then do not come to the Masjid as it might give hardship to others”.

Do not trouble others

Take notice of this for this is how he ﷺ emphasized to save others from difficulties. Hazrat Umar  said that in the beginning it was waajib to do ghusl before coming to jumuah salah because people used to toil a lot that resulted in sweating which might trouble others when they come to the gathering. This act then became a mustahab (recommended) act and again the reason behind it was to save oneself from causing difficulty to others. And work hard on this to the extent of a waajib level that you don’t cause hardship to others. O honorable ones! Today as our treatment of each other is unIslamic and our society is not Islamic, in spite of giving importance to ibaadat and in spite of having a firm aqeedah, we remain deprived of the blessings of Islam because you trouble others with your behavior and conduct. Once, our beloved Prophet ﷺ saw a man walking towards him striding over people’s shoulders. He ﷺ asked him to sit where he was and not to come near him ﷺ as it would trouble others. Our Prophet ﷺ asked people to give space to the one who comes and he ﷺ instructed the one who is coming to sit where he was so others do not find any difficulty.

The twenty four hours torment

O honorable ones! It is very apparent when a man lives in this world, he has to live with fellow human beings and he will face the situations all the time where he has to behave with others. Now analyze your behavior if it is not causing any hardship to others. Who can be more beloved to the Companions of the Prophet ﷺ other than the Prophet ﷺ? The Companions said that there is no one more beloved to them than the Prophet ﷺ but he ﷺ didn’t like anyone to stand up for him ﷺ. The Companions said in spite of their love for the Prophet ﷺ, they didn’t stand up for him ﷺ because they knew it would cause him inconvenience. There is courtesy, honor but no difficulty for others and this is deen. O honorable ones! Good behavior and the Islamic society abloom the life. Our way of living should be in such a way that we do not cause others any difficulty be it inside our houses or outside or when interacting with friends. Let Allah ﷻ forgive us for today we don’t even consider this defect to be a defect because we didn’t understand Islam, our deen and people do not do tawbah (repent) thinking how many people’s heart would have been broken and how many I would have caused difficulty by my behavior and my style of act. We do not even repent to Allah ﷻ. This is a mistake and we do not even bother about islaah. Today this is the biggest reason behind the disunity in society and the families that Muslims mutual behavior is not right. There is salah, fasting, Hajj, recitation of Quran, wazaaif but the treatment of each other is not good. This is a very painful thing. Let Allah ﷻ forgive us, if our behavior is not good within four walls, there is difficulty for twenty four hours and as far as the affairs outside, we face it only from time to time.

Let Allah ﷻ forbid there is torment and torture for twenty four hours if our behavior is not good within the four walls of our houses. When there is no good behavior in houses, one feels pain just by the glimpse of the person.  Right by seeing the other person one gets headache and how much life gets torturous! Allahu Akbar! Let Allah ﷻ forbid this to happen in houses where we have to live and at the same time face the pain and this is in spite of having deen. This bad behavior sometimes comes from the husband towards the wife or from the wife towards the husband or from the children towards the mother or the father. Allahu Akbar! The life then comes on thorns. I am telling the truth the life comes into the burning furnace for such a torturous life starts. O honorable ones! The reason behind this is we didn’t think this to be Islam at all when good conduct is also Islam and Allah ﷻ will question us tomorrow.

The status of a Muslim’s honor

Abdullah bin Masood  narrated that once the Prophet ﷺ was doing tawaf (circumambulation) of the kaaba and as he was doing tawaf he ﷺ addressed the kaaba, “O Kaaba! Without doubt what a great honor and respect you have in the sight of Allah ﷻ but there is a creation whose honor and respect is more than you in the sight of Allah ﷻ.” Now tell me if someone demolishes the house of Allah ﷻ, how would my and your emotion be? And now when someone comes to demolish the kaaba, then how would be the emotion of Muslims? And of course we should be emotional and if not for this, then for what would we be emotional? Listen now the brevity of the Prophet’s ﷺ saying is this. Our beloved Prophet ﷺ said, “O Baitullah! There is one creation of Allah ﷻ whose honor and respect is more than you in the sight of Allah ﷻ and that slave is the Muslim and smiting the honor of a Muslim is like demolishing the Baitullah.” We on the other hand, do not know how many Baitullahs we are demolishing every day. How many Baitullahs we are demolishing every single day? What a torturous life we are leading and if this calamity is happening within our houses demolishing the Baitullah, are you expecting barakah there? Will there be Allah’s ﷻ rahmat (mercy)? You are committing such a severe sin within four walls of your house that you are causing a Muslim pain and you smite his honor which is like demolishing the Baitullah.

Enter into Islam completely

O honorable ones! We are supposed to enter into the complete fold of Islam which includes how we behave with others. All these are misunderstandings that Islam is only limited to aqeedah or ibaadat or business dealings or akhlaaq. You have removed the whole concept of social conduct from Islam because of which the Baitullah is being demolished and the honor and respect of others are being smitten. O honorable ones! Let Allah ﷻ forbid and He ﷻ forbid it thousand times if this happens inside our houses, our life becomes torturous, a life of torment. That is why our beloved Prophet ﷺ gave high importance to this, a very high importance to Husn-e-Muaasharat. This was emphasized to such an extent that when it came to salah and zakaat, Allah ﷻ commanded as aqeemus salaat wa aatuz zakaat, Establish salah and give zakaat, without explaining much details and methodology but when it came to good social conduct, Allah ﷻ descended two whole rukus that when you enter someone’s house, get their permission first and do not enter the houses without permission, and when you are invited for a meal, do not spend too much of time to the extent that it imposes difficulty on others. Allah ﷻ descended two whole rukus on husn-e-muaasharat for such was its imperativeness.

The sin related to the creation is very heavy

Hazrat Sufyan At-Tawri (RA) said, “Tomorrow if you carry your sins which is related between you and Allah ﷻ to the court of Allah ﷻ, even if the sins are seventy in number, then know that this is really light when compared to one sin you will take which is related between you and any slave of Allah ﷻ.” This is because first of all Allah ﷻ is Al-Ghani Who is independent and unaffected and the second thing is Allah ﷻ is the most beneficent, He ﷻ can forgive not just seventy sins but seventy hundred sins. This is nothing for Him ﷻ but tomorrow every Muslim will be desperately in need of good deeds and he won’t forgive easily for everyone would wish his burden of sins gets lightened and as he gets that opportunity he will not forgive. That is why it is said, if there is something between a slave and his Creator, he will be forgiven but if your behavior is not good with the people then that is a very big sin. So have the concern that our behavior becomes Islamic and let Islam become alive in this. O honorable ones! It is because the Muslims do not behave well with each other, today there is too much of flaws.

The excellence of good behavior

Our beloved Prophet ﷺ has told many fazaail (excellence) of good behavior. He ﷺ said that the Jannah is under the feet of the mother so the son behaves well with the mother. He ﷺ told the wife that if she keeps up her five salahs and obeys her husband and remain dutiful to him, then the eight gates of Jannah will be opened for her. Allahu Akbar! He ﷺ told the husband that if he feeds his wife a morsel of food when he is having his meal, he will get the reward of charity for every morsel he feeds. The one who brings up his children, he will get as much reward of charity as much as he spends on them. If the couples see each other with love and affection, then Allah ﷻ smiles at them. The Prophet ﷺ mentioned so many fazaail of good behavior. The one who sees his parents with love, he gets the reward of hajj and umrah. Someone asked him ﷺ, “Ya Rasoolullah ﷺ! What if one see them again and again?” He ﷺ replied, “He will get the reward again and again”. Allah ﷻ is not deficient of rewards to grant. All this is for a good behavior. Such was the importance given to the good behavior with one’s parents, children, husband and wife. Today we have so much of flaws in this. O honorable ones! There is one group whose kalmah, ibaadat or concern for halal or haram is not good and their matter is with Allah ﷻ. Difficulty is there where people have all these things like kalmah, fikr (concern) of ibaadat, haram and halal and fikr of treading the path of deen but their behavior is unIslamic. If a religious person in spite of having deen has a bad behavior, I am telling the truth the new comer of deen seeks refuge from him saying to himself, “I thought him to be a Muslim and religious. Is this how a religious person will be whose tongue is very sharp like scissors?”

Islam spreads through Husn-e-Muaasharat

When the behavior of Muslims gets right, Islam spreads through this. Islam spreads through Husn-e-Muaasharat. In this lies the attraction that Muslims are like this. But today more one is close to me, more he is abhorrent of me because of my evil behavior. Aforetime more one gets close to a Muslim, more he gets affected. Hazrat Anas  did the servitude of the Prophet ﷺ for ten whole years. He  said that the Prophet ﷺ never rebuked him even once and never admonished him like why he did this. How strange are these people! Whoever gets more close to a Muslim that much he was affected. Hazrat Zaid  was a slave. How many times he was sold in the slave market before he came to the Prophet ﷺ! Hazrat Zaid  was so affected by the conduct of the Prophet ﷺ that once his father and his paternal uncle came to the Prophet ﷺ requesting him ﷺ to send Zaid with them. The Prophet ﷺ readily said, “Of course you can take him with you for he is your son and the nephew but if he doesn’t like to go I won’t compel him”. They agreed and called Zaid who met each other after a long time and they asked him to come with them. Hazrat Zaid  replied that he cannot leave the company of the Prophet ﷺ. They asked him if he is preferring freedom over slavery for which he  replied, “Freedom can be sacrificed for such slavery thousand times”. What was this? This was nothing but the beautiful conduct of our beloved Prophet ﷺ. One gets more affected depending on his closeness to him ﷺ. O honorable ones! An excellent Muslim is one whose social conduct and behavior is good in addition to the right aqeedah, ibaadat, dealings and akhlaaq.

Good behavior begets humility that unites the hearts

Waibaadur rahmaan allatheena yamshoona alal ardhi hawnan waithaa khaatabahumul jaahiloona qaaloo salaama. And the servants of ((Allah)) Most Gracious are those who walk on the earth in humility, and when the ignorant address them, they say, “Peace!” Al Quran: 25:63. The scholars have written that the salah, khashiyat (fear of Allah ﷻ), abstention from squandering and many other merits related to the righteous believers was mentioned only next to the good behavior. We can then think of its importance. This is because when a man behaves well then Alhamdulillah humility is created in him and this is the base for mutual agreement. Haji Imadadullah Makki (RA) says where there is humility and selflessness, there is love and the hearts remain united. He continued where there is avarice and pride, there the hearts break. Humility is to think low of oneself and selflessness is to advance others over oneself and the hearts unite here. And wherever there is avarice and pride that only I want to advance, the hearts break. Today the base of our behavior is not humility and selflessness but pride and avarice and that is why it is bad. Only torture and torment is seen in our behavior from every direction as it has pride and avarice behind it. Yes if there is humility and selflessness, then our behavior will be very pleasing and towards here the Allah’s ﷻ mercy turns. When the behavior becomes good and the hearts get united within the four walls of the house then the Allah’s ﷻ mercy starts descending on that house and the closed doors get opened.  If the behavior turns bad and the hearts get broken then know that this is the sifli amal that will break the family and the door of Allah’s ﷻ mercy will close. Some people will say that someone did bandish (cabal through evil spirits) on them and the amal of bandish is the bad behavior which shuts the doors of His ﷻ mercy, blessings and provisions.

The beautiful etiquettes of Islamic life

O honorable ones! It is very essential to examine your lives. There is a book called “Adab e Muasharat” (Etiquettes of social life) by Hazrat Ashraf Ali Thanvi (RA). Everyone should read this book with the intention of educating oneself and should be read to the children so this life, the Islamic environment comes into our houses and our houses become a model of jannah and every one becomes a means of peace for each other. If there is something in use in a house and others too use that, then the adab e muasharat is to replace the thing in the same place from where you took so it doesn’t cause inconvenience to others. SubhanAllah! Hazrat Jabir  says once he was staying with the Prophet ﷺ and whenever the Prophet ﷺ was about to enter the house, he ﷺ will greet in a low voice so if the inmates are awake, they would reply to the greeting and if they are asleep, they won’t be disturbed. And now people knock the door in such a way that all those who are sleeping wake up and one comes to the house in the sleeping time and then asks to warm the food or prepare the food. What sort of behavior is this?

The tit for tat attitude is not for a Muslim

O honorable ones! The best Muslim in the house is the one whose behavior is better than the others. This is also the incorrect behavior that you treat others bad because they treated you bad. This is nevta (a customary gift which is made compulsory, like bride family has to give to groom and vice versa), a tradition of hindus which is not found in Muslims. The teaching of our beloved Prophet ﷺ is to join the ties with the one who breaks it, to forgive others when they transgress against you, to take care of the one even if doesn’t take care of you. SubhanAllah! This is the behavior of Muslims. O honorable ones! I am telling you the truth one can find a haji, a fasting person, a person who does tasbih and wazaaif but one cannot find people of such behavior even through a search. Today we have the attitude of tit for tat; our verbal reply comes as verbal abuse. Once a person came to Hazrat Nizamuddin (RA) and complained about his brother that he keeps throwing thorns on his ways and hinders his ways all the time and continued that he has decided now that he too will behave with him in the same manner. Hazrat (RA) replied, “O my son! If he throws thorns and you too keep throwing thorns like him, then there will be only thorns in this world. Who will then remove the thorns?” There should be someone to remove the thorns that you become the one who overlooks and who does good. A person of good behavior advances far from the person who prays nafil salahs for months during nights. Our beloved Prophet ﷺ once said that a person will be ahead of a man who fasts every single day and who prays all through the nights with his good akhlaaq and behavior.

It is the good behavior that makes you religious

O honorable ones! A person becomes religious with good behavior. He is the religious person. With this, the man’s nafs gets injured straightaway. Won’t the nafs get injured when the man has to bow down, forgive others and behave well when he is not inclined towards that? The nafs gets injured as it cannot bear it easily but the reward is also much greater and there is also more favor from Allah ﷻ. A husband says his wife doesn’t behave well with him and the wife says her husband is not treating her well and sometimes the mother in law says her daughter in law is not behaving well and vice versa. If the mother in law doesn’t behave like a mother, let the daughter in law behave like a daughter and if the daughter in law doesn’t behave like a daughter, let the mother in law behave like a mother. The problem is we do not consider this to be Islam and this in fact is a difficult thing. O honorable ones! But one gets more kurb (closeness) of Allah ﷻ and Allah’s ﷻ mercy turns towards him through this. One gets progressed a lot through this. So look into your life how your behavior with others is and make sure that you do not impinge pain and difficulty on others by any sense, be it through words or acts or gestures or by any sort of behavior, rather make sure that one gets comfort from you and so you adopt the conduct. Let Allah ﷻ help us all to act on what we hear, write and read. Ameen

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